If only now I'm in the girls' school, I will just walk to any of my close mates, saying "weih, nak hug boleh" and they will open their warm arms and give me their best teddy hug. Just say "weih, aku sedih ahh" and they will spray me with their powerful magic motivations and sweet words, saying that it would be okay, things are only going wrong for a little while, problems are only some thorns that would hurt for seconds, and the pain will go away just after you paste that sorcery bandage onto the wound.
I may had mentioned ugly things about the school, but I can never deny that it had taught me a lot about relying on your close ones whenever you have the uneasy feeling loading on your chest, that you don't have to keep your matters all by yourself, and to learn the lesson that you are never alone in this wide globe of Earth. Ntahh I don't know, still no idea.
I don't really know what I'm thinking right now, what is exactly pressing me, and how did the feeling came settling itself onto my brain. Blame it on PMS and all, but still, ntah I think the environment hasn't really been doing the right thing after all. I mean, there are just too many things to occur in a brisk. First, the pain(s) before the ovulation, then the result, then the applications, the accident, then this, and that..
I'm never blaming anyone for anything, everything. I get it, it's just me, the selfish old me. I love my family, I love my friends, but I don't really see the point of sharing my burden and load of things that even I have no idea about. For a minute I thought of my results, that I haven't done good enough, or maybe it's not good enough to please everyone and even myself. But the very next minute I will think about how lucky I am, and how I am loved by Allah to achieve such grades, and I then understand that these all are only a tiny baby step towards a brighter, shiny future that awaits me aheaaaad of all these nonsenses. Boleh tak belajar bersyukur sikit. Pernah kau dapat A Physics? Cuba ingat trial JPWP Chemistry kau dapat apa? C kan? Cuba ingat masa Form 4, kau takde kerja lain, fail Bio je kan? Uhhh
At this very moment, I'm asking for nothing but a bit of more strength, to help me not to break down again, to avoid losing grip from anything I'm holding on and anything that holds on to me, to build back my base of hope and the fort of confidence, and to actually welcome more positive and optimistic thoughts. I am strong, we are strong. If I've survived before, then why can't I now?
:)
mayah.. teddy hug!
ReplyDeletehuhu..miss mayah lah cmni..hehe.
betol3..mayah jgn giv up.. a real failure is when u stop trying.. kan2?
anyway, insyaAllah kejayaan tu masih ade sinarnye untuk mayah dan semua pljr seseri. kalau tak di dunia insyaAllah di akhirat kan dear? :)
mayaaahhh..so sweet r kau! hahaha..
ReplyDeletebersyukur wei result x gempak mna..at least we had try our best kan^^
I can certainly relate! It's okay hensem woman! I'm always here having your back. Don't stop mino-ing! I love you for who you are :)
ReplyDeletemayah ^.^
ReplyDeletejust like illi, pute n mimo-san,
ill always supporting u man!
never say never just like bieber wokay?
plus, pray harder ",
Alolooo okayyy awesome people, I love all of you, thank you so much :))
ReplyDeleteIts okay Mayah. I feel you. We're the same. People will keep saying that we're not thankful to receive such good grades by Allah, we ARE thankful, but to think how we should have done better and how others that got lesser than us, its one way to motivate ourselves.
ReplyDeletewhen you think you're the only one that feels like this, let me tell you something. Youre not alone mayah :)
Dude thank you so much :))
ReplyDeletealolo emo girl~
ReplyDelete