The best moments are always the shortest.

I've been looking for the perfect word to describe myself for the past 2 weeks. At first I wanted to go with Broken. Some other time I would rather choose Crumbled. Perhaps Shattered. But truth is, I have no idea. I'm just sad, too much more than I could bear.

I know it's stupid. You don't go around meeting new friends, getting too comfortable and attached, and at the end, just like any other cases, getting torn apart anyway. I know that. I've lived with that. But you know, sometimes when life shows you a little piece of mercy, and fondness, and tenderness, you seek comfort in that. You wrap that warmth around yourself. You shelter yourself underneath that affection. Because you know, it's rare. Because you know very well that this don't come often. So you make the best out of it. And not that you're not aware that it's temporary, you're just not aware how much you'd feel lost without it.

I know it's stupid. But I was just too comfortable with this existence of intimacy.

And now, at times, it's just unbearable. When you walk around the very same scene, same environment, same space, but it's just not what it used to be anymore. Haunted. Pieces of memories being glued down at every corner of this area, making you feel like you're being imprisoned in your very own mind. Luckily, I have many supporting friends. But what unlucky is how these friends can't seem to see how much this is affecting me. Maybe I don't let them see, trying to cover their eyes from unraveling the weaker side of myself. But what else is there to do? Pouring my heart out, and for what? And I'm not even keen to hear what they were to say, because I've already known every single answer and feedback there is. But still, I can't help myself from feeling sad. A heart is a fragile and vulnerable piece of muscle, and it does what it wants to do. But seriously Heart, pulling all my energy away and splitting my soul apart for this are not really doing any good, for the both of us.

There is this one question I'm still needing answer: What am I supposed to do? Just tell me, because I'm running out of ideas. And I'm lacking the energy to search for one. 

Things would never be the same, no matter how fortunate I am in the future. I just wanna live in the moment, that moment. But that moment has passed, and I'm doing everything I can to get through it.

"Meeting someone is like reading a chapter in book. When the chapter is over, we move on to the next one. Don't stretch a chapter into a book."

How unfortunate, when the best moments are always the shortest.