Hey there,

It's been a while.

My last post was about how I was spending my holiday, and now another break is about to take place. Things have been quite different lately. I found myself immersing in quite a total new environment now. I miss my friends in Shah Alam. I miss my friends from first Semester. I may seem happy now, as always. But you know, it's not as content as how I've always felt before. The happiness seems to be followed by that sense of guilt. I don't have high expectation on people, but I do on myself.

I don't want that confident I was just comfortable having just slough off that easily. Life gets harder, but I don't really see myself keeping up. I can't stand having competitions, but I've never really challenged myself to strive harder, to compete not against others but my own self, to win against my own past. Seeing everyone else doing it so easily got me thinking, am I doing it wrong? Am I handling it at fault? If I am, do tell. I don't to wake up everyday seeing that disappointment on my face, to have that word 'failure' written all over my forehead, to just wait for people to point out my flaws, to imagine the punishments and judgments I were to get if I slip off. This is wrong. This is bad. I never was this pessimistic.

I would love to rehash on my birthday celebration, but let's save it for some other time ya :)
Take care people .