Shoulder

I once had my favourite phone soaked in the water. A friend offered her shoulder for me to cry on. I then replied "No it's okay, I don't cry."

I do not know if my past experiences have made me such a cold-heart person to blurt out that statement, or it is just me being me, rigid and egoistical, not wanting to express my colours. Or perhaps I have came up with a better understanding about tears and misery not being solutions to many problems.

But most of the times, I just think that even with laborious explanations, people do not understand. As much as they claim they do, as many times they said they've been in the same walking shoes, they never seem to get it. At the end of the day, it's always you being left alone, trying to figure out how to survive, and to breathe the air of ease like before, if not, better.

But who are we to blame people anyway. Calling everyone selfish for not paying attention is just simply childish and stupid. To what extend can we guarantee that we'll be there for them in their rainy days? How strong is our empathy to understand what they've went through? Where is the black and white saying we'll never leave them in despair? No. None. Never.

Many times in life, incidents after another, I have sworn to never simply seed hope and trust in people, because not many deserve them. Just about time when I feel belonged and contented, people decide to take off. I can't expect myself to be just fine, as much as I wish I would. The most that I can do is to keep asking myself to stay calm and, to have faith in God's arrangement. Keep on mumbling "This is upsetting, but things are going to be just fine." And it's true, it gets better in time.

Again I'm not wishing to put blame on anyone. People make mistakes all the time, no one can seems to escape. If I cannot forgive, how do I be forgiven? Just gotta chin up, smile, and keep on riding this roller coaster.

And oh look, got an A- for Cambridge/SPM English 1119 :)