It's hard, again

It was a hard week, another hard one. I don't know, I thought when the examination is over, I will have nothing to worry about. All I got to do is to have some fun during my hoilday, my longest holiday for this year. But no, the idea has changed. And yet, another awful fact has arrived. They put me down, they pulled me down. It's not really a big deal anyways. But still, where's the justice? Where's the toleration? Where's the love?

But who am I to speak? I've done a lot of mistakes myself. Yes, I admit that. And now, I don't want to give a damn about anything regarding "it". I don't want to get involved in any matter about "it". That's what Sis told me to do, and I'll stick to it. I'm done, I quit, you win, I lose .Happy? Yeah I'm sure you are. Let us see if this thing will go any further. There are lot more things ahead to be grabbed so who cares if I don't get this one.

At this point, I don't love "it" anymore. I do love the members, my friends who were always there for me, who had supported me all the way, who had given their best cooperation to me when I need some. I love you guys. You guys are the best. Keep up with what you do now. Don't listen to people who are always keep on judging and complaining, without seeing and knowing the true facts about yourselves. I know who you are mates, I know what you guys are capable to, I know your limits. If other people had tensed you up, don't listen to them. Just take it to improvised yourself. Do whatever you do best. Only do things you love, don't force yourself to satisfy others. Who cares if they say you're a jerk. At least you're a happy, and that matters the most. If I am not there anymore, it's not like I don't care. I need time, I have my ego, and if you are in my shoes, you'll be doing the very same.

I'm really glad to have people that are always there for me. I know I had burden you so much with my problems, problems that I've created myself. I can't help it. I do things I love, and those things had put me in this situation. I'm happy, but yet a little bit upset. I'm okay, but somehow feel odd. I'm relieved, but still, the sense of guilt is all over my nerve. But still, I've done my part, I've rest my case.

And last but not least, I would like to thank every single soul that had been there for me. You guys are great, you guys are angels. It's been a great pleasure to be given friends, sisters like you. I'm really sorry to burden you with my stuff, my emotions. And now, when I flip back the old memories, I'll be smiling alone. They remind me how happy we were in the past, how crazy the things we had done, and how many the tears had we share. I'm glad, glad to be given the chance to feel all these. And I thanked God, all your tests had made me a tougher, a stronger human being.

Like Sis always say, there will be some a lot harder time out there, and these are just preparations. I want to survive out there, so lets start it from here. Lets look it from a positive point of view. Maybe there are better things await me in the future. Nobody knows kan? So lets make it this way, I will start over, I will do things that I think right, the best for me. I would spend all of these time recording memories that I can replay in some other time. I'll try. So please, pray for me, pray for my success, pray for my happiness, and I'll be doing the same for yours.

So for the meantime, give me some time to cool down. Give me a break, give me some air. And I will always keep on updating this, just to inform you how I feel from time to time.




Till the next one,
mayah mino